Solidarity Sucks

I went out to Grand Rapids with Heidi and Jeff to play soccer with the Catholic young adults group out there last night. On the way home I was talking to Heidi and Jeff about my decision to go back to school and all the things that I would be leaving behind. We were talking about West Virginia and I started thinking about Maria and the good conversations we had together, as well as the camping trip where we stayed out all night talking. Then I started thinking about all of my other friends that I was giving up.

Suddenly, a feeling of loneliness swept through my heart. I started thinking of all the people I was leaving behind and how I was venturing out by myself. I felt very alone and I started to think about solidarity.

In the end everything boils down to you and God. Nothing else matters really. Good luck convincing me of that though. I find comfort in people, in music, movies, video games, pets, my guitar, etc. I find that I am often blind to the fact that God, and God alone, loves me unconditionally and that He needs to be the center of my life at all times. I let everything else in my life influence my relationship with God, and it's more often in a negative way than a positive way. It was really good for me to feel that sense of loneliness, it helps me see more clearly that I need to find all my strength and comfort in God. I know that's what He's really trying to do in my life right now, I just need to get myself to surrender to Him completely.

Easier said than done.