I Miss You

Heidi looks at me, I fake a smile so she won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we could be
I wish times were different, so it'd work out alright
I wonder if she knows she's all I think about at night

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I put her picture down, and maybe get some sleep tonight

'Cause she's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
She's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Heidi left for Australia yesterday and it's going to be two weeks before I will see her again.
I'm missing her like crazy right now, and I'm completely bummed out that she's gone. I just don't really feel like doing anything right now other than being with her.

I was out with Tim last night and we were talking about Heidi and I. He really thinks we'd make a good couple and he's been encouraging me to pursue her. I really want too, but I know I can't. If she hadn't been engaged to John so recently, if we didn't both have ways we need to grow before we are ready to date someone, and if I wasn't leaving in a month to go away to school 6 hours away then I would go after her. So, if it wasn't for time and circumstance we'd make a great couple, but no matter how bad I want that to be I know it never will be. I want it, but it's not God's will for my life. I guess that means he has something better for me, but it's hard to see that right now. It's so hard to have a friend that I'm so close too that I have to let go of. Our final goodbye is going to be HARD and I'm sure I'll cry.